so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
