Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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