Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize