and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Let's get the cat blown out
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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