So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
