Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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