He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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