He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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