I must be too annoying 4 u.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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