You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
