as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
