the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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