oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
