I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
