if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She swung at the pinata with crutches
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
