Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize