shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
