Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
His nipple licking is glorious
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