they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
