that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
