He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize