brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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