Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
