just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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