Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
