Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
