So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
