im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
