I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
