Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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