i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
