I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
