I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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