I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
