I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize