Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
