Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
