Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
