what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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