They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize