Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
