Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize