you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
