just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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