I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
