Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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