we made out on top of his cat.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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