can u get pink eye on your cock?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
