why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
