During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
