so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
