Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
