His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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