Your mouth is God's brothel.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
3pm strippers are depressing
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
