i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize