She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
