And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
