Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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