Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sext me about skeletons
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
