im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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