he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
